I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
