sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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