Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
