My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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