you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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