I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
