told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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