There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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