Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
