im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
