i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
