i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
