Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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