Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
