Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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