Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
