i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Randomize
