areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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