Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
