too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Randomize
