Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
