It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Sorry about my life...
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
