Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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