"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
