If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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