office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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