So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
