guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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