I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
