brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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