Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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