Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
