im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
