so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
