i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
