so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize