why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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