Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
someone get that fucking seahorse.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
