everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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