it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Alive.
So much puke
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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