You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
