idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
