I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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