Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
