Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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