Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
