these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just cut my nipple shaving
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
