Have you finally orgasmed yet?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
