the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
