A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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